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Do You Believe This Misleading Dating Myth?

“We have the same interests! We like the same music, the same movies, the same books – she even caught my obscure pop cultural reference! Oh, be still my heart – this must be truuuuue love!”

While common interests might feel / look / seem great and like a sure-fire sign of attraction, love, or whatever you’d like to call it, they actually have very little to do with how the couple is going to relate (or not) with each other.

Most guys tend to overlook the really important stuff – and it’s hard to blame them. With the exception of physical looks (not to say those aren’t important when choosing a date), there just isn’t really a wide-spread, powerful discourse on guys being discerning with the women they date.

For example, here are only a few characteristics critical to a woman’s core personality that often get overlooked:

  • Her flexibility
  • Her generosity
  • How totally into you she is

If she is extremely flexible, generous, totally in into you BUT doesn’t like your favorite movie / game / TV show / sports team / meal, guess what? She still has massive potential to make you incredibly happy, all the while BECOMING the woman of your dreams. With a flexible, generous woman like this, a seemingly innocuous comment on your part might turn into an entire wardrobe change on her part to impress you and turn you on. She starts reading the books you like, listening to the music you like, watching the movies you like. Gifts, unprompted, come pouring in – all because she wants you to like her more. We have countless examples of this happening in our personal lives and we’ve observed it many times from our students.

On the other hand, here are 3 examples of things that are completely irrelevant to look for in women but guys often use as criteria:

  • Her taste in music
  • Her hair color
  • Her political values

Why don’t these things matter at all? Because they can change… And they DO change – especially when she’s flexible, generous and with a guy she’s really into! She’ll adapt various aspects of her life to match up with her man’s interests. We like to see her adapting herself into what we like (although we never tell her what to do) as a sign of how open-minded and into us she is – she’s going through all the effort to impress, so why not smile and appreciate it?

We’ll be straightforward with you, in order to find the types of women we really want we almost always need to date and disqualify lots of women who aren’t into us, aren’t giving, aren’t flexible, or whose core attitude simply doesn’t match what we want. The only way to do that we need to meet a lot of women. A LOT. When we do, it’s completely worth it – one of many reasons why we strongly recommend you get up, get out and go meet 30 women every day (at least!).