The Walking Craft

Sleeping isn’t as easy as it used to be. Whenever you can find safe shelter (which is rare) a constant, gnawing fear remains. Every night, you hear screams and gunshots in the inky blackness, then a cacophonous crescendo of groaning and the steady shuffle of zombie feet. You sleep with your trustiest knife, ready to flee at a moment’s notice.

Suddenly, the back door flies open to reveal… your fellow survivor grinning broadly and clutching what appears to be 12 pristine beers. You can’t believe it. As a longtime beer connoisseur, you thought your hobby would fall by the wayside since the daily struggle for survival takes up most of your time and energy.

Cracking open and pouring the first bottle reveals aromas and flavors you haven’t experienced in years. It makes you think, for just a moment, that maybe there are other survivors out there going through the same things you’re going through. Maybe they too enjoy interesting craft brews.

If that’s true, maybe there is still some hope out there…

(Contains Very Mild Spoilers)

Rick Grimes – The Reaper – Southbound Brewing Company – Rick Grimes has been the cornerstone of The Walking Dead ever since its transcendent first episode premiered in 2010. We’ve been with Rick through thick and thin, whether it was watching him kill his best friend Shane (after he became a walker) or seeing the death of his wife Lori during childbirth.

The show has been tough on Rick, but his son and infant daughter are still alive, as are many of his fellow survivors who have been with him since the beginning. Rick always tends to attract trouble wherever he goes, probably because he is a beacon of morality in a broken society where manipulation and violence are the currency. Because of this, Rick’s body count is higher than most other characters on the show. He has slain them all, be it zombie or corrupt human.

The Reaper, a dark brooding Quadrupel from Savannah, Georgia, represents Rick’s bloodstained past and will help prepare him for the future killings he will almost surely have to commit. As long as he stays true to himself and his moral code though, we will definitely keep coming back for more.

Daryl Dixon – Moonshine – Grand Ridge Brewing Company – Daryl is one of the most beloved characters on the show. Peerless marksmanship with his trademark crossbow and excellent tracking skills make him an irreplaceable member of the survivors as well. While he usually displays a gruff and brusque exterior, he cares deeply for many of his fellow survivors, particularly Carol and Beth. Rick also looks to him as his second-in-command.

Despite it not being his hard liquor of choice (as its name might suggest), this meaty Scotch Ale (8.5 % ABV) brewed by Australia’s Grand Ridge brewery would be the perfect pick-me-up after firing off a volley of precisely aimed arrows into some ravenous zombies’ skulls. Roasty malts dominate the flavor, and a heavy mouthfeel would keep Daryl satiated while slaying never-ending ranks of walkers with typical detached panache.

The Governor (Philip Blake) – Gubna – Oskar Blues Brewing Company – Through a thrilling performance from David Morrissey, The Governor came to life as one of the most horrific characters to ever grace the small screen. In a series full of unsavory characters, Woodbury’s leader was certainly the worst.

Oskar Blues Gubna Imperial IPA not only shares a (colloquial) name with the most terrifying personage on the show, but its hefty hop quantities and high ABV are couched in an innocuous ruby red can, similar to how The Governor concealed his insanity with a combination of charisma, manipulation and unfettered authority.

No one was upset when Michonne skewered The Governor with her Custom Katana in Season 4, but the show (and television in general) hasn’t had a villain as vile and unpredictable since his demise.

Michonne – Skull Splitter – Orkney Brewery – Sporting a razor-sharp katana and lengthy dreadlocks, Michonne is one of the most interesting (and fearsome) characters on the show. While all of the survivors know how to cave in a zombie’s rotting skull, Michonne is the one who seems most able to live up to the name Skull Splitter.

This dark Scottish Wee Heavy features a menacing Viking on its label, but Michonne slays zombies with much more elegance and flair, slicing and dicing the roaming cadavers as if she were dancing with her samurai sword.

Merle Dixon – Wäls Petroleum – Cervejaria Wäls – Daryl’s brother Merle tended to rub people the wrong way. Whether it was being belligerent enough to get himself hopelessly handcuffed on a rooftop by his fellow survivors in the second episode or joining forces with The Governor, he was never going to be a fan favorite.

Merle is far too grizzled to enjoy anything other than the darkest of brews, and this Imperial Stout from Brazil fits the bill. At a whopping 12 percent ABV, Merle will be able to drink his way to forgetfulness with this sticky, pitch-black concoction.

Beth – Hayseed – Smuttynose Brewing Company – Always seemingly too pure and innocent for a place as harsh and ugly as post-apocalyptic Georgia (as her suicide attempt in Season 2 would entail), Beth did have her rare moments of rebellion, such as when she wanted to get drunk with Daryl early in Season 5.

This beaming golden beer wouldn’t particularly aid her in that endeavor, but it does suit her well. The word hayseed is usually synonymous with yokel, but in this case it evokes Beth’s previously sheltered life under the protection of her gentle but stern father, Hershel, and her caring older sister Maggie… until the zombies came. This mild spritzy ale clocks in at a sessionable 3.8 percent ABV, a perfect beverage to help Beth remember the good times in her life.

Maggie – Maggie’s Peach Farmhouse Ale – Terrapin Beer Company – You can take the girl out of the farmhouse, but you can’t take the farmhouse out of the girl. Hershel’s eldest daughter has always been headstrong and rebellious yet also loyal and compassionate. Her short courting of Glenn led to their marriage soon thereafter with Hershel presiding. She is depicted as a crack shot with a pistol and is not afraid to get her hands dirty.

After a long day of zombie slaying, Maggie can sit back and enjoy her namesake peach beer (from a brewery in her home state no less), with her other hand still clutching her trustiest weapon. A sprightly and sessionable farmhouse ale brewed with sugary peaches, Maggie will feel right at home with this beer – as if she never left the farm.

Glenn – Zombie Killer Cherry Cyser – B. Nektar Brewing Company –  The husband of Maggie and a series stalwart ever since the first episode, Glenn has become something of a fan favorite. He had a brush with death during the virus outbreak in Season 4, but he survived, as he always has, and continues to be an important member of the survivors.

This interesting melomel from B. Nektar Brewing Company perfectly encapsulates the entire group’s main ethos: killing zombies. Glenn has always been a fervent walker-killer and this blend of mead and fruit juice will definitely not detract from that goal.

Carol – Old Guardian – Stone Brewing Company – Carol has been through a lot during her time on the show. In season 1, she was a victim of her overbearing husband’s abuse. A zombie summarily ripped out his jugular vein as punishment (the zombie probably only wanted food, but the writers certainly knew no one was going to miss Ed).

Carol became a much stronger presence on the show after her husband’s demise, but her life would soon change for the worse. Sophia, her young daughter, went missing after a zombie attack in Season 2 and much of that season was devoted to finding Sophia and bringing her back to her mother and adopted family. The survivors did find Sophia, but she had turned into a walker. After that trauma, Carol’s once soft-spoken, tentative character morphed into a steely and pragmatic woman.

Because of her battle-weary but motherly temperament, Stone’s Old Guardian Barleywine would be a good match. She seems like the kind of woman who could handle this 11.2 percent ABV beast from San Diego. With heavy floral hops and a warming alcohol finish, this brew could certainly give Carol a brief respite from her tragic memories and perilous future.

Tyreese – Beast Mode Porter – Sixpoint Brewery – A hulking figure with a kind heart, Tyreese has experienced his fair share of loss during the show’s run. Though his sister Sasha is still alive, his paramour during Season 4, Karen, was killed by Carol after she was infected with the zombie virus.

After this occurred, Tyreese grew more distant and mercurial, sometimes taking on entire hordes of the dead by himself – going into “beast mode.” This beer represents that. Beast Mode (the beer) is a bold roasty porter from Sixpoint Brewery and is lighter than others in the style; perfect for a man who has to be alert and ready to kill the dead at all times.

Karen – Mangalitsa Pig Porter – Right Brain Brewery – At the start of Season 4, Rick’s son Carl was in charge of feeding and looking after some hogs the survivors had penned up in the prison yard. Those hogs, instead of nourishing the fledgling community, ended up infecting numerous survivors (including Tyreese’s lover Karen) with the disease that causes normal humans to turn into braindead husks.

Much like the show’s hogs, this beer is also hiding something… that it was brewed with real pig! While it has not been known to cause healthy humans to transform into shambling monstrosities, its murky black coloration does contain a singularly smoky aroma and a unique salty bacon flavor that might bring a slight haze to memory after consuming a few.

Walker/The Dead – Walker – Dock Street Brewing Co. – Zombies have been portrayed many different ways in pop culture. The standard representation is a plodding, desiccated human shell with only one demand: “BRAINS!”

While the walkers (or biters, roamers, rotters or geeks, depending on who you ask) on The Walking Dead can only groan and grunt, they would still appreciate this unusual beer from Dock Street Brewing Company – a deep dark stout that was actually brewed with fresh goat brains. Yes you read that right, goat brains.

Walkers are always on the lookout for their next meal, and as its name suggests, this brew would certainly satisfy them with its salty, meaty undertones… for a time at least.